Wine Women and (lack of) Words

Here are some of the impressions of India I wanted to put in my last blog but didn't have the time or mental capacity for.

WINE: Most of my traveling abroad has been by myself. Occasionally, I will meet someone at a hostel or on the main drag for backpackers. For a lone male in a foreign land, one often resorts to drinking at night. Beats going back to a shite room, reading the one English book you have and don't wanna finish too quickly for lack of knowing when or where the next one will come from. Sometimes you get a fuzzy English channel on TV, like the British version of ESPN that they have in Asia. No offence to my UK mates, but cricket and darts can't keep me from going out and getting pissed on my lonesome. Alcohol isn't widely sold and Indians don't seem to drink much. I've heard of that firewater in the villages that makes you go blind, but I'm not there and ain't messing with it anyhow. The only real 'go to have drinks' pubs are in the major cities. Otherwise, it's two stores, often with different doors, but side by side, advertised "Bar" and "Restaurent" (no typo on my part). You can order food from the restaurant while in the bar but not vice versa. Doh! Foiled again. If you come over and find a woman in one of these places, then I'll reimburse your ticket and one week's loss of income. I'm not implying that if there were some birds in there I would smoothly slide my white ass over to the table and spin some "exotic" foreigner, "So do you study English?" game, but....It's a stunningly weird sensation to be in a bar with 20-30 customers, all men, all at separate tables, and nodding your head to the latest Bollywood soundtrack or trying to figure out how many overs and wickets Sri Lanka needs to win match 9 against England in the Cricket World Cup. At a bar, eye candy is tastier than salty nuts. This brings me to my next insight...

Women: Don't be thrown off. This is not a diary of any skirt chasing escapades or conquests. A gentleman never kisses and tells. It's a social commentary. You are all familiar with the notion of the Japanese woman's place in a society dominated by men. Actually, it's not THAT bad if you don't compare it to Western standards and especially the Middle East- from what I've read. A quick list of some superficial observations and you can make your own judgement whether they're positive or negative. 1)There are "women only" cars on local trains, HOWEVER they can ride in the other cars, too. 2) You will almost never see an Indian girl/woman alone outside doing anything. The exception is street hawkers and beggars. 3)In a pamphlet for the organization I work at, in praising the volunteers, it says "and many of our volunteers are women, which shows how brave they are to go and work outside the home." 4) Married women get the notorious "Hindu dot", for everyone to see plain and clear. Men don't have anything so explicit. Very few men have dots but I think it's a branch of one of the religions. 5) Lastly, at the interstate train station, foreigners, VIP's, handicapped people, and women have a special ticket window. I think women can buy anywhere, though. I was standing in line and these two women cut right in front of me- see BLOG #1 for info on line ettiquette. I protested, going off the handle a bit and asking if that's how you mind a queue here. Her answer was "Real quick! I give him this paper." Five minutes later I told her she was rude as she left and she pointed to the fact that this window was for ladies, and "Ladies first in India!" Read my hands as they make a "W" on my forehead, standing for a big, fat 5 year old "What--Ev--Er!"

(lack of) Words: First a shout out to my fellow ESL teachers who are intimate with Raj from the Blue Book. Ode to the power of cross cultural misunderstandings from body language. For example, in Asia when you want to beckon someone, it's hand out with palm down and move your fingers towards yourself. In the US, it's palm up, point and call them over with a finger or two. I have never lost the Asian way and have minor problems at home. So the Indians have this thing where instead of nodding their head to answer "Yes", they do this Bobblehead thing. It's like nodding side to side by moving your ears towards your shoulders. It is SO close to looking like a head shake "No". It can ALSO just show that they are listening to you, whether they understand you or not. I have had 5 minute conversations with people, me talking, them doing the bobblehead thing, just trying to figure out whether it means yes, no, or that they can hear me. If I come back and start doing this, you have full permission to slap my head as hard you can to stop the bobble. I had some more stuff but will filter it, let it percolate, and give it to you cup by cup. peace...